Those were the days....

My eldest child just turned 13!
13!!!

Wow....we have closed the door on her childhood and opened another on the wonderful world of the Teen years.... It was a day that dawned like any other,  but something had changed. My honey-eyed girl had blossomed into a young woman. It didn't really happen overnight....more a gradual metamorphosis over the last few years. When we left to travel around Australia she was just a girl, now 2 years later she is most definitely a young woman! Her Dad and I have had a front row seat, watching as she negotiates life. It is such a blessing to raise a family. There are so many side splittingly hilarious moments. More than a handful of "grrrr moments" and many powerful lessons to be learned for both the parent and the child. I think we have many more to yet to come as well. 

I remember the day I turned 13. I know it took me a while, bit of a stretch on the memory retrieval. My parents gave me a 'Pig Out' T shirt (I never said I was classy!), a 'Ghostbusters' Album on cassette, the book "The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole aged 13 3/4" and various other bits and pieces...clothing and the like. I remember Dad playing the Inspector Gadget theme song over and over again in the car....(he still plays this :) Those were the days of spiked hair, mullets, fluro socks and rah rah skirts! When Madonna dominated the airwaves and my favourite movie was 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'. When we all thought we could Dance any time, anywhere, 'Footloose' and 'Dirty Dancing' just re-inforced that belief!!! When break dancing was cool and Michael Jackson taught an entire generation to moon walk. Aaaaah the 80's! Those were the days when I rode motorbikes for fun, spent most of my school holidays outdoors and spent my school terms at Boarding School in Charters Towers. Yep...those were the days that filled my 13th year of life. I am still living down the haircut! What was I thinking..?! Crazy crazy crazy!

As I reflect on my teen years and pause to take stock of my honey-eyed daughter's teen experience thus far...I can't help but notice how different our "teen" years are. She is so much classier than I ever was. I am delighted in the beautiful young woman she is. She is so bright, where I struggled at School. She is super talented at music, specifically violin, where my musical ability was limited to what I could enjoy on cassette. She is actively involved in Scouts, where I dropped out of Girl Guides. She is so very brave, pushes herself to the limit of her comfort zone all the time, where I was often held back by my fear of what might happen. She has a close relationship with our Lord and Saviour where I didn't come to know Him until much later. She has travelled extensively around Australia and I, as a teen, had only enjoyed my home (a sheep & cattle Property) and the surrounding area in remote Western Queensland. She has lived in a tent for the past 2 years, had to go without a lot of the things other kids probably take for granted, forgone friendships and security....and yet she has experienced first hand what it means to live by faith, to sit in the presence of God, to go where He leads, to share with His people, to give the gifts and talents He has blessed us with to further His Kingdom. Yes...our teen years are very different. I don't regret my teen years, it was what it was. I didn't know there was a different way to live, but I do now. I am trying not to worry about what could have been and choose to focus on what is and what will be. I am so very blessed to be Josie's Mum. To have the privilege of witnessing this delightful young lady blossom into a woman. I praise God for her, she is such a gift to this family. There is much ahead of her....highs and lows...learning curves....so much life to be lived. Josie, my love...be bold, be strong....for you are not alone. The Lord your God is with you and will not forsake you. He has brought you this far and He will lead you on. Take hold of what He has promised and keep yourself grounded in His word. You will have so many choices to make over the next couple of years....seek His wisdom. 

Love you beautiful girl
xo

Some times you just have to blow it!

Well it started out as an ordinary family meal...
We were doing the normal Tea-time routine...you know: "eat with your mouth closed" "Use your cutlery" "No, don't wipe your face on your shirt!" "Ask for things to be passed to you, don't just grab it..." "Sit on your chair properly"
Annnnnd it all changed in an instant!
One minute the tension was rising, the frustration was palpable, the conversation had trickled to just about nothing....
Then the unexpected happened.....
Connor had picked up a pea examined it and decided it fit perfectly inside his right nostril!!!! He then expelled it with great force, and blow me down if that pea didn't fly out of his nose and bounce across the table!
Ppppfffft!
Now I don't know about you but there are some times when you just have to laugh and it's really not appropriate, but you can't help it nor can you stifle it. The more you try not to, the more likely you are to explode in fits of mirth!!!! And when that green pea came flying out of his nose and bounced across the surface of the table....my Husband and I locked eyes and he said "Don't! Just Don't!!!!" But it was too late, no amount of pretend coughing was going to disguise my shaking giggling shoulders!!!! Hee Hee. I mean seriously...the pea bounced across the table!!!! Very Funny!
Thank you Lord that sometimes I just have to blow it out...and Laugh! Thank you for the faithful instruction you give me for the day to day "stuff", and thank you for the curiosity of little boys!!!!
 

Make a joyful noise...just not near me!!!!

I thought I'd share one of the humorous moments of my week with you  :)
The other day I was chauffeuring our four children to School with the music up loud and overcome by the moment I burst forth into song....

At this point Josie, Miss 10, turned the music down and very seriously said... "Muuuuummmmmy! That's not singing!"

I replied that "the Bible states that we should make a joyful noise unto the Lord"

Josie didn't miss a beat....she simply stated. "Mum that is NOT a joyful noise!!!!

5 Minutes To Decadence and Belly Laughs!!!

Leisl recently had some time off School with another bout of Tonsillitis. Another day off work for me, part of the joys of juggling children and part-time work! But it couldn't be helped, she was sick, she needed her Mum and that was all there was to it.
Well, knowing that she loves to cook, I thought that she and I could try out this Mug Cake recipe that I had been emailed. (Thank you to the numerous people that emailed me a copy of this - you know who you are and you are sooooo in trouble!!!!!)

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour 
4 tablespoons sugar 
2 tablespoons cocoa 
1 egg 
3 tablespoons milk 
3 tablespoons oil 
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional) 
a small splash of vanilla extract 
1 large coffee mug
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well.
Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour  in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. 
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. 
EAT!

Well we dutifully followed the recipe. Note the part that says "The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!" Well this is what happened...
When I read that note, I was certainly not expecting it to rise over the mug that much!!!!
What do they mean don't be alarmed??
Leisl and I got a good belly laugh out of it, she was more than a little tickled by the whole episode and happily sat down to eat it.
I, on the other hand...thought "mug cake hmmm I don't think so!" And proceeded to transfer all the contents into a large pasta Bowl....
The end result was absolutely delicious! Definitely large enough for 2 people to consume and very yummy! I did what any woman in my position would do...I rang my neighbour and invited her over to "help" me eat it. Which was just lovely. And very funny!
Isn't that typical, what we expected and what we ended up with were vastly different realities, despite our careful adherence to the instructions provided. Life's a bit like that too isn't it. We kind of have an expectation for how things are going to go, we carefully follow the instructions we've been given and what do you know the cup overflows and it gets kind of messy for a while but it's still good.
Worth the effort and so worth the belly laugh!!!
Enjoy, with Leisl, and my, blessings!

Suck it up Princess!

I came out of the Office today to find our four precious, delightful children all bickering, so I did what any Mother worth her salt does...I retreated and waited to see if it would all blow itself out.

Ha!

The tempest raged for some time and there's only sooo much time you can spend on Facebook! So, I intervened...sending them all to their respective beds. A very noisy process! But essential...

Time out is as crucial for them as it is for me...it makes me a better Mum. I am always so much better equipped with a self-imposed breather to get a handle on my frustrations. Sometimes much to our amusement Rosa (Miss 6) takes herself to bed, loudly, but without our intervention. She knows she needs to get it together so she storms off to bed.

I wonder where you go? Or what you do in that brief breather?

Me?

I go outside! Breathe in Breathe out... And having a beautiful view out the back really helps. Somehow being outside takes the edge off. Other times I go check my emails, send a text message, read a page or two of our Book Club Book or the MOPS book for this year "The Mommy Diaries". No matter what I do, I pray!

It's funny, the other day we were having one of those episodes with Miss Rosa, and in a flash of frustration this wrung out Mummy inappropriately quipped "suck it up Princess!" To which she ceased raging and delightfully replied...."Mummy..., you just called me Princess!"

That made me laugh!!! All tension dissipated...

Apparently being addressed as the royalty she KNOWS she is was enough to pull her out of her stormy emotional outburst!

I think I might just use this amusing reminder for myself.

All of us can do with reminding that we are adopted daughters of the KING!

Annnd when life spins out of control emotionally, as it inevitably does during this crazy Adventure in Mothering, I hope he whispers loudly in our ears...

Suck it up Princess!

Getting away to find perspective

My children have succeeded in driving their mother crazy. So complete is their success that I find myself frequently uttering these once unthinkable words:

"Honey, you need to get out. Go ahead, call a friend and escape for a while. I'll take care of these---things."

With that, she's out the door in 2.5 minutes. She called me from her mobile phone shortly thereafter,

"Hi, Honey. What time would you like me home?"

"Anytime," I said. "Just have fun."

"OK," she said excitedly. "See you Sunday."

The Toileting Saga continues....

My 5 year old princess has done it again!
She's taken a stand against the unfair tyranny of her parents, who have committed the worst misdemeanor ever - they've enforced her toileting independence!!!!
The poor wee thing has decided this toileting thing is wayyyyy over-rated. I mean "how icky, you don't expect me to put my hands near there?"
Bless her heart.
When one first becomes a parent, thoughts of toilet training a sassy little 5 year old and her (ever so willing to help, Bless his caring heart) twin brother, do not enter your mind.
Actually, do you have any advice on the subject as I'm fresh out of ideas, not to mention toilet paper! We are going through heaps of the stuff!!!!
We are nearly a week into this "enforced toileting issue" and lets just say it's been a Looooong week!! There have been many tears shed, many lengthy visits sequestered on her throne, and many frustrated family members owing to the fact that we actually only have one toilet!!!
In her most recent episode, madam caused a plumbing disaster! She for whatever reason....I'm sure you can use your imagination here to fill in the blanks...decided to use 2 whole rolls of toilet paper!!!!!!
I'm serious!
She didn't have a problem until her attempts to flush turned into an overflowing, soggy disaster area!
Lets just say we were not impressed!
My darling husband visited all of our neighbours only to discover none of them own one of those toilet plunger thingies. We really are getting to know our neighbours.....
Madam in the meantime decides that she is in big trouble.
Hubby is entirely frustrated
and me?
Well I confess it actually entered my mind that we should look into one of those bidet thingies!!!!
They say that necessity is the mother of all invention. Yeah that's probably right. Or could it possibly be a family survival instinct?
I digress.... Madam has flat out refused to play the game with the parents' rules. And she's tenacious alright! She could out sit a brooding hen! I'm sure that later in life these traits will be great strengths! (Well that's what I keep telling myself) I take some encouragement from Dr James Dobson's "The Strong willed Child" particularly the part where he says...

"Treat that child with sincere love and dignity, but require him or her to follow your leadership. Choose carefully the matters that are worthy of confrontation, then accept her challenge on those issues and win decisively. Reward every positive, cooperative gesture she makes offering your attention, affection, and verbal praise. Then take two aspirin and call me in the morning."

But more encouraging is the prayer he closes the book with... I have racked my brain as to what is the best approach to deal with this precious child who is obviously struggling with a very necessary task. I've questioned our decision, her physical capabilities, whether it's necessary......so these words are a balm to my very tired parenting heart....

"Lord you know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I'm doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but it may not be good enough. As you provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give them is my best, and I will continue to do that. I submit them to you now and rededicate myself to the task you have placed before me. The outcome rests securely in your hands"

Right then....better buy a plunger!

It's a Twin Thing...

I have twins right.

A boy and a girl.

No they are not identical.

You would be surprised how many times I have been asked that question.... I actually saw a frazzled mother storming through a shopping centre one day with a cardboard sign perched atop her pram declaring these words:

Yes they are twins. No they are not identical. I know I have my hands full...I don't need you to tell me that. I don't think it's any of your business whether they were IVF babies or how many times we had sex to get them, so don't ask! And DON'T STOP ME!!! my toddler has just run off....Have a nice day.

I so understand that lady's head space.

My 5 year old twins are a boy and a girl....they are fraternal, and are in many ways just like normal siblings for each other. But there are times when their twinship is unmistakable. Think about it....they have built in play mates. Yes there are times when he uses her arms to test out his latest sword, or she dresses him up in some girly tutu, but it's absolutely gorgeous when they play "mummies and daddies" and he talks about her being his girl. And she pretends to give him a kiss when he comes home....aaaahhh. Recently we observed them holding hands whilst they ate their Dinner. How sweet.

But nothing prepared me for this....

The little girl has experienced shall we say, First Class Service in the toileting department. She just will not wipe her own bottom. It doesn't matter how much I encourage, bribe or threaten....she just will NOT do it. Well my husband and I have decided it needs to stop. We are no longer going to help her in this department... I mean does anyone else get their bottom wiped for them???? Seriously. So in a unified approach, we told her that it's all up to her. That's it. No more yelling at us to come and help, if it is to be it's up to she....

Yesterday the little princess was on her throne, in the small room of the house, yelling "muuuuuuuuummmmmmmyyyyy" and when that didn't work..."dddaaaaaaaaaaaaddddyy" over and over again until we began to wonder what our neighbours thought. So with a quick arrow prayer for wisdom, patience and confidence, I responded firmly that No it's time for the princess to do this herself, because she's a big girl now etc..etc..etc.

Time passed with tears and whimpers, all the while perched atop her throne.
Then silence....and I have to confess at this point I got distracted with cooking dinner and thought no more of it until she appeared in front of me. Wonder of wonders I thought, she did it. But when asked she vaguely said

"ummmm C (her twin brother) helped me"...

What????? You've got to be joking.... so I went in search of her brother, and asked what happened... He shrugged and said

"It's okay mum, I did half and she did half !!!!"

(Like derrr mum) I couldn't believe it. Thankfully kept a straight face and asked the next logical question..."did you wash your hands?" To which he replied

"no....cos I didn't get any on me"

(double derrrrrr mum).
It's a twin thing!

Good For A Giggle....

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.
Test 1 - Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Test 2 - Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3 - Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.
Test 4 - Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5 - Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Test 10 - TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Test 11 - Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.
Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13 - Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!