Teary & weary!!!

Well it's official... I'm EMOTIONAL!!!

I'm not sure why I'm on this emotional rollercoaster at this particular point in time...I just am!

Teary, over sensitive, and tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddd!

I know that it's normal for us gals at certain times to get a little, well....tense and twitchy! But this is ridiculous!

I hear a sweet story and I cry!

I open and read a Birthday card from a dear friend and I cry!

I can't get rid of the ants for the kitchen and I cry!

I go on a beautiful mountain drive surrounded by vistas that take your breath away...and I CRY!

What is with me?

Hmphf.

And where is the CHOCOLATE???

Oh it's alright, I haven't lost the plot for at least...hmmm, 5 hours (when I was perched on the edge of a high free fall; had this crazy idea that today was the day I could confront my fear of heights! WRONG!!! It just left me a sooky, shaky mess, embarressed and dissapointed with myself. I think it was made worse by the fact that I had an audience. Yep, my 4 precious children were watching me to see what I would do. And I blanched, I choked....I, you guessed it...CRIED!).

Days like today, when I've tried something scary for me...

when I've been sitting on the edge, CRYING...

They are the days that not a single tear falls to the ground without notice.

I know that as lousy as I feel, those tears are serving a purpose....they are like a pressure valve going off...and they are catching the attention of our LORD and Saviour who is diligently collecting them.

Why?

Because he cares so much about us. Because each and every tear that rolls down our cheeks are worthy of his attention. The King of Heaven is not only interested in our tears...His concern for us goes much deeper than tears...He loves us. He longs to comfort us and give us peace.

I think after today's harrowing experience I have nothing left, so I'm going to crawl into bed.

I'm done! I'm over it! I'm....tired.

As I drift off to sleep I choose to focus not on my shortcomings, or my leaky face....but on my Lord and Saviour. And the knowledge that I am His, set apart, and loved no matter what! And this verse is playing through my mind... 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

So...play Possum!

I woke up this morning with one little possum snuggled up against me. I have no recollection of her coming in, hence I have no clue how long she was there. I squished down the little flash of annoyance that ran through my head as I realised she was cutting off the blood supply to my arm...and wiggled over a bit. Then I watched awash with Mother love as, suddenly cool from the gap I'd created, she squirmed over to nestle against me again. All whilst still being asleep.

It's a lovely feeling to have someone warm and soft to cuddle. How can I begrudge my sleeping princess that need for her mum's comforting presence. She didn't know that her twin brother had been playing tag with her in sneaking into mum's bed for a cuddle during the wee small hours. She didn't know that I had crawled into bed exhausted much later than intended. She didn't know that her Dad had lost all claim to his side of the bed and was perilously close to falling off.

She didn't know....and if she did it wouldn't matter.

She just needed the reassurance. The comfort and peace that a loved one's embrace yields. She needed to feel safe and warm. And she needed to go back to sleep.....

I am no different really.

I had a stressful day on Wednesday, one that saw me turn into Psycho-mum...the proof is in the yelling!

It was just one of those days when stuff went wrong...I had to be somewhere by a certain time, which allowed only a brief stopover at home to bathe children, dress them, cook Dinner and exit poste haste! Annnnd I had an unexpected visitor, the phone rang and kept on ringing, the children didn't want to have their showers early, the older ones didn't want to help me prepare and cook, they all just wanted some time to play...My husband was going to be late home...I wanted to scream! I came home many hours later....feeling exhausted, drained and soooo over it! After going through the motions, teeth, toilet, tucking little ones into bed etc I sank into a chair and poured out my heart to God. I sat there feeling a fresh crop of tears brewing....and thought to myself...."How did I get so out of control? why did I lose it? I feel like a lousy Mother....please Lord what do I have to do?"

It was then that these soothing words sprang to mind...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul..". Matthew 11:28-29

I felt the gentle nudge to ring my dear friend and cancel our pre-arranged get together for the next morning, and then to subsequently cancel all other "outings" for the day... Instead I spent the day seeking out my Father's embrace, snuggling in close to hear his still small voice. Seeking out the reassurance, comfort and peace that spending time in his presence brings. And you know what? It was goooood!

Be encouraged, when the ground falls from underneath you and you find yourself tumbling out of control...it will all be over soon! Just close your eyes, pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father....and press into him...for he is gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul =]

So....Play Possum!

When tears Flow...

“When words fail, tears flow. Tears have a language all of their own, a tongue that needs no interpreter. In some mysterious way, our complex inner communication system knows when to admit its verbal limitations and the tears come. Did you know God takes special notice of those tears?

In Psalms 56:8 he tells us that he puts them in his bottle and enters them into the record he keeps of our lives.

David said, “The Lord has heard my weeping” (Psalm 6:8).

A tear drop on earth summons the King of Heaven.

Rather than being ashamed or disappointed the Lord takes note of our inner friction when hard times are oiled by tears. He turns the situation into moments of tenderness; he never forgets those crises in our lives when tears were shed.”

From Chuck Swindoll’s, “For Those Who Hurt”