Dust Off Your Dreams

I wonder…. What did you want to be when you grew up? Or maybe I should ask what did you think you wanted to be? I had many flights of fancy in this department as I transitioned from little girl-to primary school-to high school and so on…. Having spent my childhood on a remote western Queensland Sheep property, I had ideas of being a Teacher, marrying a grazier and staying on the land…which grew into being a singer (no really I’m not that good but kids do dream!!!!), I distinctly recall loudly declaring to my parents that I wanted to be just like Dolly Parton when I grew up

(what was I thinking? You know, I never knew why a guitar was shaped that way until I saw her hold one).

I had many ideas about working for Playschool! I loved Playschool! I wanted to learn several languages, study Art, teach Art and travel the world. But always with a home to come back to….and even in my immature mind I wanted to have a family complete with a Husband as wonderful as my Dad was, and children (although I thought 2 was enough…hmmm). Ah dreams!

On leaving High School, most of us left our lofty ambitions entrenched firmly in our childhood where they belonged and set about living life on a whim. Isn’t it interesting how well-rounded an education we receive when we are doing the steering, directing and decision-making. It’s in those times that we “grow”. We tackled our new found liberty on leaving school. Some of us studied, some worked, some travelled, some completed degrees and became known by that, others have swapped from field to field doing many things. Whatever it was that you did then, it may be a far cry from what you have become. Somewhere along the way you ‘became’ something.

You are a Mother! Enter the biggest growth phase of your life! A time where your dreams/wants/desires get placed out of reach. You live life for another now, you have responsibilities and expectations and demands. You sacrifice yourself, sometimes unknowingly, for those you love dearly. You live your life “on hold”. That speaks volumes about how much you love and care for your family.

It’s just there is an innate desire in each of us for self-improvement that can’t be brushed aside.

You were made that way. Just because you have brought another life into the world that relies on you, doesn’t mean that your needs cease to exist.

“Mums, too, have a legitimate need to grow as individuals, to develop their talents and abilities (doing) as well as strengthen their character (being).” (Elisa Morgan & Carol Kuykendall)

It is possible to care for your precious little ones and yourself. So what! if something doesn’t get done, or you eat frozen veggies for Dinner, or the washing doesn’t get folded… You will be a much better person, and parent, if you take some time (even as little as 15 minutes) to nurture your self!

Ready, set, Grow!

Read, walk, write, draw, paint, sew, dance, play, type, plan, decorate, shop, cook, sing- whatever it is that you would really love to do!

Decide today to use your unique God given abilities and dust off your dreams.

Which will you choose? To be a human doing or a human being?

What Do You See In Your Mirror???

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. --Lee Mildon

When you look in your mirror what do you see?

Do you notice your face or your hair or maybe how you look in your clothes? Maybe you are one of the very few who look in the mirror and think “I’m okay!” Let me tell you, you are a rare breed if that’s you.

Maybe you’re like me and kind of avoid seeing your reflection, even accidentally. Some days I feel perfectly happy and then I catch sight of myself and all sorts of things fly into my mind, making me think I’m not good enough. What happened? I started comparing myself with other’s expectations of what is “attractive”. What would it really be like to see yourself through other’s eyes? Would they even give a thought to your appearance? Or do they see you underneath. Are you judged before they get to know you, or are you seen for who you really are?

It’s been said, you wouldn’t worry about what other people think of you if you realised how seldom they did!

What matters most is what you think of yourself.

If you are struggling with that, consider: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, Before you were born I set you apart” Jeremiah 1:5. You are one of a kind! A Unique, living breathing, glorious creation. There is no duplicate of you in the world! You are truly original. Logic dictates that you have your own unique style, tastes, likes and dislikes….all the tiny little quirks that make you! Celebrate them, enjoy them. God made ‘you’, don’t spend your time and energy removing ‘you’ from your now much busier world of being a Mum. I encourage you to rediscover your style, the tastes, personality and activities that you enjoy. Then make the most of what you do have!

If someone compliments you on what you are wearing take notice of the design and colour and wear it again. I encourage you to try a few simple dressing pick me ups: for those times you want to feel feminine and attractive add a dab of perfume. Wear a soft scarf or even a bright one. Put on some lip gloss. Wear that nice underwear or delicate slip you have in your wardrobe for no special reason. Be comfortable, the discomfort of ill fitting clothing or shoes is never attractive! A smile is! Kindness, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, purity and self-discipline are all admirable.

I pray you will allow yourself to BE the person you were made to be. And have some fun uncovering you! You are loved for exactly the person you are.

God Dress You

Who Do You Depend On To Make You Happy?

The Secret

One day, one friend asked another,

"How is it that you are always so happy?

You have so much energy,

and you never seem to get down."

With her eyes smiling, she said,

"I know the Secret!"

"What secret is that?"

To which she replied,

"I'll tell you all about it,

but you have to promise to

share the Secret with others."

"The Secret is this:

I have learned there is little I can do

in my life that will make me truly happy.

I must depend on God to make

me happy and to meet my needs.

When a need arises in my life,

I have to trust God to supply

according to HIS riches.

I have learned most of the time

I don't need half of what I think I do.

He has never let me down.

Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."

The questioner's first thought was,

"That's too simple!"

But upon reflecting over her own life

she recalled how she thought a bigger house

would make her happy, but it didn't!

She thought a better paying job

would make her happy, but it hadn't.

When did she realize her greatest happiness?

Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren,

playing games, eating pizza or reading a story,

a simple gift from God.

Now you know it too!

We can't depend on people to make us happy.

Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.

Trust HIM!

And now I pass the Secret on to you!

p.s I'm not sure who wrote this but it's very good......

Mirror Image

Isn’t it funny how we can just cruise on through daily life with nary a thought about those innocuous little things like the speckles of toothpaste splayed over the Bathroom mirror and then all of a sudden you can’t NOT notice.

Your reflection in the mirror seems marred by the artfully arranged spots – of, well, toothpaste spit eeeoooew- that your precious family have left there as evidence of their last several brushing episodes! Little darlings....

There’s a couple of ways to look at this I guess.

1. You have proof, they actually do clean their teeth!

2. your outward appearance really doesn’t matter that much or you would have noticed the “spots” sooner

3. or could it be more accurately said that you are lucky if you get Breakfast in the morning let alone time to put on your day face

4. you know it’s bad when your 5 year olds start playing dot to dot

5. you know who the culprits are because the “spot” line is considerably lower than your reflection

I think we are really good at going on our way, squeezing as much as we can out of each day. But every now and then the “spots” just stick out. They become glaringly obvious, and where we barely even noticed them yesterday, today we can’t stand them. Strangely reminiscent of our role as a parent. We cruise along, keeping everybody fed, afloat, organised, fed, bathed, happy, clean, wiped, fed etc and then their flaws slap us up the side of the head. Hello! You catch yourself thinking…

“Will he ever learn?” “Will they ever close their mouths when chewing their food?” “Will she ever learn to wipe her own bottom?” “Will I ever get a full night’s sleep?” “Will they just do what they’re told?” “Will I ever get on top of my washing?” “Actually will I ever get my washing sorted/folded/put away?” “Will I ever get to draw/read/watch a movie/eat my own meal/have an uninterrupted adult conversation again?”

I wonder if that is how God sees us. Are our profiles obscured by the spotty record of our comings and goings? Are our flaws more glaringly obvious on some days than others? Undoubtedly they are. However I believe that God is the only one who really sees us. Who overlooks the speckles of lingering “baggage” from our past that we insist on dragging around. And he loves us for the people we are. In his eyes you are nothing but a pure and beautiful person, and he loves you.

Psalm 139 (New International Version)

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, ^[a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to ^[b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

I’m off to clean by Bathroom mirror, to lovingly wipe away every spit and speckle left there by our children. And I’m going to do it with a thankful heart, thankful that God chose me to be their mum, thankful that they are a precious part of my life, thankful that most of the time I overlook these spots because I guess really in the scheme of things….it’s no biggie….

Thankful that you didn’t drop in today with it looking like that!!!!

Dummy Mummy

I have been replaced!

I know that when you take on the roll of primary educator, sooner or later it's going to happen. You are going to be replaced! When your children are small you are the smartest Mummy in the world. It appears your IQ level and general knowledge seems to decrease proportionally as their little legs increase. I have twin 5 year olds who think I'm pretty clever, it's so lovely....That wide eyed trusting is so precious and so very short lived I can tell you.

Miss 9 and Miss 8 have taken it upon themselves to point out the flaws in my statements, correct my pronunciation and even (to my absolute disgust) argue categorically that I am WRONG!!!! Hmmmm, not good! The thing is, Miss 9 makes these sweeping statements based entirely on her opinion and wonders why people argue with her. It's really very funny when you are removed from the front line verbal assault she has launched.

My parents always used to make those really annoying yet cuttingly accurate observations, like

"it's better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt!" or "would you THINK before you open your mouth!"

I think Miss 9 has been around her Mother too long, not only have I reached my use-by date but I'm just too familiar. She is genuinely astonished when I actually know something she doesn't! And when I'm feeling particularly brave I correct her pronunciation....simple things like pronouncing "heir" "hair"....

Have you ever heard of "baby brain" or the fact that with the passing of each placenta, your brain function diminishes? I think God planned it that way so there wouldn't be one child families all over the world. We have to forget about childbirth, that hurts!!!!

Just as an aside I liken childbirth to pushing out a pineapple....

Well, I have had 4 placentas which should explain my struggling synapses! Nearly a decade has passed since my firstborn came into the world loudly declaring her opinion even at birth! Perhaps she's just one of those kids, born crying out her opinion and continuing to do so even today. It's just the details that have changed: in this case the length of her legs and my decreased brain function. Really I am still wearing most of her verbal barrages. I'm sure these attributes will suit her well later in life, and you never know maybe one day soon she'll ask my opinion.... For now, I will be content to deflect the onslaught of her newly formed opinions, reliably fielding her questions as effectively as a Google search page.

Oh no I can hear a commotion in the background Miss 9 is directing Miss 8, Miss 5 and Mr 5. Time to enter the fray I feel. Okay, deep breath, arrow prayer for wisdom...shoulders back........

Oh my, what long legs she has!!!!

Time To Take Down SuperMUM!

To know me—who I am and who I am not—is to love me.

It’s time to take down Supermum!

She has to go. The damage she does to you is HUGE! You are soooo much more than the “Supermum” illusion tricks you into thinking you need to be! There is inside you a great person, a fantastic mother, a friend, a comforter, a whole myriad of beautiful and complex pieces that blend together uniquely to reveal the real you. I can hear you thinking…..

“But you don’t know me”

that’s just it. I believe that we women suffer universally from a low self-esteem epidemic. Like a virus it creeps up on us when we are feeling a bit down or lonely. We make the mistake of comparing ourselves to others when things aren’t quite turning out the way they should be, maybe we’ve lost sight of where we’re going, what our purpose is.

The way we view ourselves seems to be a transient day to day thing. Some days we’re pretty cruisey and the next we feel like absolute failures, unworthy, insecure, desperate! I encourage you to abandon the notion that as a woman you can do it all without any help! Help yourself by first admitting to yourself your role as a woman and mother is not easy. You have a lot of needs to meet, but you aren’t giving yourself a chance if you’re doing it all. Perhaps as a result, you’re not too exciting to be around either. You can’t go back and change yesterday, but today is a new day. What happens today is in your control, your thoughts, and your choices. You can do this! Focus on what really matters. Don’t be embarrassed to be who you are, there is no-one else exactly like you in the whole world! Be the mum you were designed to be, not the “ideal woman” but the real woman! God made you for this. As Emilie Barnes wrote so eloquently;

“Your life as a mother is a life of significance before the Lord”.

I know that it’s hard sometimes; I have struggled with my own self-esteem for my entire life. It seems we are indelibly programmed to think the worst of ourselves at any given moment. I know I am. However I also know that I have a loving God who knows me intimately and STILL loves me, who wants the best for me and is protecting me. Did you realise that you are worth the life of his son?

Bless you.