Sweet Solitude, Muffin Mix and Love notes...

Today marks an anniversary of sorts. We drove into Malanda on a Monday three weeks ago, with all our worldly possessions packed tightly into our Troopie and Camper Trailer. Three days later we moved into the timber house on a green hill overlooking Dairy Cattle country. With the children all attending school in nearby Atherton, I am relishing a little solitude. The first few days they were at school I wasn't entirely sure where I could best utilise my time. Those first few days were more about giving me a little head space than anything else. That moment when the Troopie drives out the driveway, transporting my family to school and work, and silence settles upon the house is bittersweet. Yes, I am a sook....I miss my family. After 2 years living in a one room camper trailer, in each other's pockets 24/7, who wouldn't miss them??? Yet the chance to sit and soak uninterrupted in the presence of my Lord and Saviour is so very sweet. This morning was especially lovely. Let me back track a little....I have been feeling a bit down. Nothing major just a longing for female companionship. I am blessed to have some beautiful friends who know and love me for who I am. It's just that geographically I am very much alone and lonely! (It has been this way during our travels as well, unless of course we were in a MOPS town :) This morning sitting there with a coffee, reading, praying, singing and soaking in God's presence has taken the sting out of how bereft I feel. I am not alone, He is with me....He is right here! I was encouraged as I read this morning...

"Our heavenly Father is the Creator of all, and the Giver of all good gifts. His children should bear His likeness, which means they should be creative."

I spent quite a bit of time just sitting in silence, letting it settle in upon me, listening.... It is such a cool thought that we are to be creative to emulate the Master Craftsman. I have so much mundane stuff to do today...washing, cleaning, cooking, preparing..... I asked for His help to get creative, to find joy and meaning in the works of my hands, and mostly for motivation. I was feeling so tired..... I decided that if my work was to glorify the Lord today I had better get moving. So I put on some upbeat Praise & Worship music (I started with "Make Way For The King" available through Victory Life Church, Perth  then flowed on through a Hillsong album - "Saviour King Live", and a Wow To Worship compilation CD), plastered a smile on my face and I haven't looked back! Although I have paused many times just to join in with the various songs. It has been a balm for my soul. I attacked the washing pile. I mixed and baked some chocolate mini muffins for the children to take in their lunchboxes to school. I planned Dinner : Sundried Tomato Chicken Kebabs with salad. I have re-arranged some of the minimal furniture in the house. I have hung out the washing around the house, swept and cleaned up. It's been full on! But I feel so much better for it. A lot can be said for music therapy!

Mum & Dad ROCK (from) Rosa

Mum & Dad love me (from) Rosa

I was walking through my room, pondering creativity when I discovered these two little sticky love notes from Miss Rosa. How special. She had at some point decided to pop these little notes on the swinging doors in our Bedroom. What a cutie.... It got me thinking..... Maybe I should arm myself with sticky notes and go attack the house.... Leaving random little notes here and there for my family. They should know they are loved both by their Mum and their Saviour..... 

But first, time for a cuppa, a muffin, 15 minutes of a good book and a killer view!!!

Turn your mind from Churn to Burn...

My family are living on the road permanently these days... (see our BLOG over at a-dventure.blogspot.com)

It's been quite an experience packing up all and sundry...and hitting the road. We now have no official Home, no stuff left to store, all we have is what is in our car and camper trailer.

Life is...an adventure!

It's funny how a few weeks living in close quarters affects you.

Our white shirts are no longer white.

Our shoes are very grubby.

I have not slept through the night since we left as now I have to escort little people to public toilets for that urgent call through the night!

Our meals are very simple, we have no microwave and the only Dishwashers we have are the ones on the ends of our own arms!!!

Our children have limited toys but a whole wide area to play in...unless it's raining! They each have their own small toy box. And since the twins have already had a Birthday, whilst we were on the road...their boxes have been re packed numerous times to accomodate their pressies! christmas saw all 4 pulling their boxes apart, cos they knew....if they can't fit it in the box...it goes!

And being a typical Mummy I'm programmed to feel guilty about the slightest thing....

Does that happen to you?

I churn over stupid things like...

• Are my kids going to be worse off for this round Australia experience....having had to leave their closest friends, give away all their toys away, down size their clothing to a handful of sets....? I hope not. 
• Are we even going to like each other at the end of this? We've had many a  Raarrrrrr over simple things like..."backing a trailer", being too exhausted to get up during the night and "could you please go"....? Who's washing up...? Dumb stuff you know. I guess after being together 24/7 a couple of dumb blow ups when we're tired are fairly normal. 
• Will I ever get to dye my hair again?
• How on earth am I going to manage teaching my kids and travelling and keeping them fed, clothed and bathed...?

Sigh.

I have, I confess, had a few nights, and days, when I've cried out to God in total desperation....

Lord I need you!!! I can't do this!!!!! Lord, are you there? Can you hear me? Am I just being dumb? What were you thinking sending us around Australia? How on earth are we going to afford this? I miss my family...I miss my Church family...at least they sang songs that I know.... I miss my MOPS groups....I miss my Neighbour! I'm cold!!!! Are we ever going to get off this Island and back to Mainland Australia?  Sob....

And you know what... Every Time!

Not some of the time...but EVERYTIME He has provided for our needs...

We have had money turn up unexpectedly in our Bank account, just when a Big Bill came in...We've had people offer Daniel work when he desperately needed it. We have been kept safe and secure, our tent got twisted and blown sideways and nothing broke! We've heard people speak in Church that were Missionaries in PNG and wouldn't you know it but they were from the same Church that a fellow MOPS Regional Coordinator attends And the lady was a MOPS Mum...coincidence...hmmm I think Not! The message that day was on: being a part of a Church Family and...wait for it....Doing something Radical in your Christian Walk!

God has been with us every step of the way...
He has been there with me, when I'm bawling my eyes out...as well as when i'm cracking up laughing....
He is with me...
His still quiet voice is the voice I so desperately crave, and when I spend time seeking him....earnestly....somehow the pop and crackle and white noise of my crazy mobile life fades into the background and He comforts me...with quiet assurance that He is with me...I am not alone... He will strengthen and Protect me and He will provide for me....

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

I am quite sure that I will have more days when I lose the plot, and when I wonder how on earth we're going to manage... Life on the road is fraught with a miriad of problems to solve. I just pray that in those moments, I will be able to step back, take a deep breath and get His perspective on things....

When you're lonely...

A friend of mine has recently left after popping in to visit.
And my heart feels heavy.
I have no logical reason to feel this way…..it’s just that I get a sense of the deep loneliness that she is feeling. It seems unbelievable to me really. Others would perceive her to be totally together and not in the least bit “lonely”.
Yet she is.
She told me that she feels like she has no friends.
And it got me thinking…I often feel like that. My daughters, aged 8 and 9, often feel like that. Nearly every young Mum I have spoken to, has at some point felt like that.

I feel like grabbing these special girls and yelling:

“Do you know how precious you are?!”

Why is it that all the females I have come in contact with feel so alone?
So cut off from everyone else?

I heard Pastor Lloyd say one day…

“When you’re feeling down, go and make your neighbour a batch of pikelets”

Here are some of the things that I do when I feel lonely or I’m feeling cut off from others…

• I pick up the phone (squash down all those reasons why I shouldn’t ring…ie. Cos they’re busy, cos they’ll be eating dinner, cos they won’t be able to talk) and I ring my mate….even if it’s just to leave a message on her answering machine. At least she’ll get back to me when she can.
• I invite my neighbour over for a cuppa
• I write a little note to someone who I care about
• I sms/email/blog/skype….
• I hop on Facebook and write on everyone’s wall
• I bake bickies with the kids and talk with them about who we’re going to give a batch to
• I Invite someone over for a meal or arrange to meet up in the Park
• And when I feel really really down and out, cut off and isolated…I pray!

I pray that God will send me a friend. That God would help me to be a good friend to those close to me. That God would take away the emptiness and loneliness that lies heavy on my heart like a cold flinty stone. That he would fill me up to overflowing with joy. That he would blow the cobwebs out of my head. That he would be with me, encourage me and guide me.

Do you remember that song “what a friend we have in Jesus….”
It’s so true.
There have been times I’ve felt like “there but for the grace of God go I.”
God is more of a friend than any one person could ever be. I wonder…do you know him? Have you asked him to come into your heart? Have you crawled into his loving embrace and sought out his heart?

Know this:

• You are unique
• You are not alone
• You are very special
• You are one of a kind
• There is no other exactly like you
• You are valued and loved for who you are
• You are the adopted daughter of a sovereign King
• You have all you need inside to be a friend to others

Be strong and courageous
Seek and you shall find
Ask and the door will be opened to you
Practice Hospitality
Be encouraged….sometimes we seem to be looking so hard for something we don’t realise it’s right there in front of our very eyes.
Love you mate xx

It's just too much...

Do you ever have those times when it's all just too much? You know, when you're just "Over It!"
I had a day like this recently.
Sometimes it seems that no matter how late I stay up just to get something done, or how many times I do the washing or vacuum the floor or clean the toilet, or get up early just to get ready in time so that we can leave that few minutes earlier....I still can't quite get on top of things. I still don't manage to get to school/work/mops/church/book club on time. Oh the stress and disappointment associated with that. It can become so depressing that I confess these words fly out of my..."why did I bother?"
Everyone struggles at some time. We can't always be upbeat and happy and have it all "together". I certainly try very hard to be "real". But occasionally the fear of what others might think of me invades my fragile head space and I see my home with critical eyes. I literally see problem areas everywhere I look, cobwebs hanging from the rafters, washing piled on the lounge chair, food on the floor, weeds in the garden, spots on the carpet, fingerprints on the windows. I enter into a manic cleaning frenzy, usually after the kids go to bed, that runs late into the night.
I remember this one time I had a bunch of women coming over for morning tea and Bible study and this feeling came over me, so I set to work like a madwoman cleaning scrubbing, hiding all the "mess" so that they wouldn't think badly of me. I rationalised these actions with comments directed to my perplexed husband like "they have babies, that need to go on to the floor, so the floors need to be clean" or "they actually need to sit somewhere so we need to clear that couch" or "we need cups for hot drinks so we need the dishwasher emptied and those dishes off the sink to make room for the next lot...." Get the picture. They sound like plausible reasons for my manic cleaning effort.
Looking at my enormous pile of clean washing, I thought...

"I know I'll move it once rather than make several trips...so thinking I was particularly clever I spread out a king sized quilt cover and proceeded to pile every last sock, jock and towel onto the cover, bundled it all together, went to throw it over my shoulder casually and walk down to pop it on my bed.
One problem that thing was heavy!
Okay Plan B, drag it.
This worked for a little while but I forgot about the hallway. doh!
At this point I was beginning to chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation.
Plan C squish the sides into the hallway and puuuuuuuuullllllll!
Phew this is hard work.
Get to the bedroom, laughing uncontrollably at this point, squeeze through the door, pause to catch my breath....Look from the bulging bundle to the bed.
Re-assess.
Right, it can sit there on the floor. Too heavy to lift, too big....sigh....
Plan D close the bedroom door.

I think we have the same approach when we prepare to meet with God sometimes. I'll just get this done, and hide that mess and move that from here to here and push far from my mind that thing I should have done/said/dealt with... "Right there you go, now Lord come on over, how can I help you today?"  the thing is, God is interested in the whole picture. He already knows about the "messy' parts of our lives, and he loves us and accepts us for who we are. Because we are created in his image. He knit us together, He knows the thoughts we have and the words on our tongue before we do. He hurts with us and for us. He cares. It matters to him.
You know what. There are always going to be dishes in the sink to do, washing to fold, toilets to clean, lounge rooms to rediscover, gardens that need tending and children that need feeding/ bathing/ dressing/ cuddling/ disciplining/ teaching....messy parts of our lives. We need to choose to see things with some perspective. Why not ask..."who can benefit from seeing my messy house today, from seeing that I'm not all tickety boo? Seeing that I don't have it all together and that really is fine?" Being real and transparent with others might just be the blessing they need this week. Instead spend that time  sitting at the feet of the master, and open your heart to what he has to say...

As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42 (New Living Translation)

Oh Lord thank you that you still cared deeply for Martha, and that you gently pointed out to her how important it is to sit at your feet.
Help me to be "real".

When tears Flow...

“When words fail, tears flow. Tears have a language all of their own, a tongue that needs no interpreter. In some mysterious way, our complex inner communication system knows when to admit its verbal limitations and the tears come. Did you know God takes special notice of those tears?

In Psalms 56:8 he tells us that he puts them in his bottle and enters them into the record he keeps of our lives.

David said, “The Lord has heard my weeping” (Psalm 6:8).

A tear drop on earth summons the King of Heaven.

Rather than being ashamed or disappointed the Lord takes note of our inner friction when hard times are oiled by tears. He turns the situation into moments of tenderness; he never forgets those crises in our lives when tears were shed.”

From Chuck Swindoll’s, “For Those Who Hurt”