Monday, December 28, 2009

Teary & weary!!!

Well it's official... I'm EMOTIONAL!!!
I'm not sure why I'm on this emotional rollercoaster at this particular point in time...I just am!
Teary, over sensitive, and tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddd!
I know that it's normal for us gals at certain times to get a little, well....tense and twitchy! But this is ridiculous!
I hear a sweet story and I cry!
I open and read a Birthday card from a dear friend and I cry!
I can't get rid of the ants for the kitchen and I cry!
I go on a beautiful mountain drive surrounded by vistas that take your breath away...and I CRY!
What is with me?
And where is the CHOCOLATE???

Oh it's alright, I haven't lost the plot for at least...hmmm, 5 hours (when I was perched on the edge of a high free fall; had this crazy idea that today was the day I could confront my fear of heights! WRONG!!! It just left me a sooky, shaky mess, embarressed and dissapointed with myself. I think it was made worse by the fact that I had an audience. Yep, my 4 precious children were watching me to see what I would do. And I blanched, I choked....I, you guessed it...CRIED!).
Days like today, when I've tried something scary for me...
when I've been sitting on the edge, CRYING...
They are the days that not a single tear falls to the ground without notice.
I know that as lousy as I feel, those tears are serving a purpose....they are like a pressure valve going off...and they are catching the attention of our LORD and Saviour who is diligently collecting them.
Because he cares so much about us. Because each and every tear that rolls down our cheeks are worthy of his attention. The King of Heaven is not only interested in our tears...His concern for us goes much deeper than tears...He loves us. He longs to comfort us and give us peace.
I think after today's harrowing experience I have nothing left, so I'm going to crawl into bed.
I'm done! I'm over it! I'm....tired.
As I drift off to sleep I choose to focus not on my shortcomings, or my leaky face....but on my Lord and Saviour. And the knowledge that I am His, set apart, and loved no matter what! And this verse is playing through my mind... 
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9


Helen said...

Great encouraging words!! I too have days when I cannot see straight for the tears. And that is just the way God has made me. At times I feel quite desperate to be normal and not let everything affect me so much, but then I think that I would not learn as much, I would not be so profoundly aware of His grace, forgiveness and mercy. I love Psalm 6 - it shows David as an absolute tearful wreck and yet he still manages to realise that God's love will never fail. Hang on to that thought!

Rosalie said...

This is just so beautiful, human & honest Karen. See your tears were not wasted- they touched God's heart & they've certainly touched mine ( and torn at my own tear ducts just now as well!!!) We all have days like that but at least it was not a wasted experience but one that has drawn you closer to your Lord, His love for you and through it all you've found a way to encourage the rest of us out in cyberspace ready for our own teary days. Thank you my lovely friend & sweet dreams/travels.