I have had a week of cleaning, tidying, sorting....etc. And I'm sooo over it!
It's sort of confronting to have somebody come through and inspect your house every 3 months to point out what needs maintaining and what is not up to scratch. That, apparently, is the joy of Renting!
I do what I have to do but boy do I struggle with it. The very receipt of the 'notice of intention to inspect' letter sets me into a spin! Grrrrrrrrr. I start my downward spiral then, and only regain the surface when it's all blown over.
I sometimes wonder if we personally could do with a regular "inspection" too. A once-over a couple of times a year to see how we're going internally on a spiritual level. I mean am I really okay?
I may seem like I have it together. Yet I often feel alone and disconnected. I may seem like I have lots of friends, and in reality I know a lot of people, but can only count a couple who seem to love me warts and all. I may even seem busy to other people, but most of my running around is tied up with an opportunity that presented for our oldest daughter. And we took it, knowing that this year may be her only opportunity to participate seeing as we're hitting the road to work & travel around Australia for an indefinite time frame...for possibly 2 years or more. She is quite the violinist and deserves a chance don't you think? Not much opportunity for that in a caravan whilst Home-schooling... I'm sure we'll face that challenge when we get to it.
But seriously...how am I going? Let's take a walk through shall we? And see what jumps out.
- I'm carrying a little more weight than I'd like....think soft as a marshmallow....cuddly!
- I'm due for a haircut.....or should I grow it longer......? Don't know, perhaps the budget will decide.
- I'm physically worn out.......too many late nights, not enough bedtimes before midnight. I'm positively orange and pumpkin-like now.
- I'm feeling like the money runs out before the end of the week.........and mostly due to older children doing more activities and camps and cubs and and and....Or perhaps just sheer numbers....there are 4 of them!
- I'm loving Book Club, what a breath of fresh air.....Kid free time to hang out and learn more about God from some of the Coast's most wonderful God Chicks over seriously goooood coffee. What a blessing they are!!!!
- We've had some of the most inspiring sermons at Church this year. Wow! I've sooo loved hearing the message......Well most of the time. Sometimes I feel like God uses this time to convict me of some of the areas I need to trust him for....like provision for going away in a Caravan and 4WD (which we actually do NOT have to do things we Don't know and to meet people we Don't know, for HIS purpose...which as you can probably guess....we don't know yet!!!) So Yes love going to Church but sometimes struggle with the messages God relays to both of us whilst we're there.....
- I'm really seeking God this year.....feel like I've been totally slack in the area of personal devotion. I mean I pray all the time, and do read the Bible sometimes...but need to do so more.........I seem to get to bed too late, up too late....put my "face" on, make the lunches, rush to School/Work...rush to the next thing...rush home, hear the twins' Grade 1 readers, listen to Leisl practice Cello and Josie Violin, empty out the lunch boxes, pop a load of washing on and make the evening meal, clean up, check my emails, and then do it all again....
Sometimes I feel too busy to pay attention to myself let alone God. Thank goodness he can see my thoughts and my heart at all times, as intimidating as that can be.... In our Book Club we have been reading "The Organic God" by Margaret Feinberg, and she describes this perfectly on page 36....
"God's bigheartedness leaves me speechless, motionless. I can't quite explain it, but deep down inside, I feel afraid. I am scared that if I get too close to the light of God's love, it will expose all the areas of my life which are not only unlovely, but unlovable. I fear his love, but at the same time I am drawn to it. I want to know the love of the Organic God. I want to explore the boundaries and beauty of his bigheartedness. I want his love to saturate my being. My soul craves it."
I am still his! He knows me and he loves me....and he is with me! And he is with you too....in his eyes you are nothing but a beautiful and totally lovable child of God.
So, how about you?
How are you going?
Any maintenance required?
Feeling a little exposed?
I encourage you to get out your "Life Maintenance Manual", the Bible, and see how to really live!