Who am I?
That The Lord of all the earth,
would care to know my name...
would care to feel my hurt...
If you really knew me...you wouldn’t like me. Do you ever catch this thought beetling through your head. Usually followed closely by the troublesome: Am I good enough? Am I worthy? Or recently thanks to the popular rock song.... Am I pretty enough?
When I was a little girl I used to spend hours pretending to be somebody else...not just anybody, specifically those I perceived to be beautiful, attractive, successful, even fascinating. I was often frustrated by my gawky self, my unruly straw coloured hair, my voice that was just lacking “something”, my freckly face, chubby body and totally un-appealing flat chest!!! I longed to be as sensual as Sandra Dee (Olivia Newton-John in “Grease”), as beautiful as Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn in “My Fair Lady”), as free-spirited as Maria (Julie Andrews in “The Sound Of Music”) and I’m super embarrassed to say....as voluptuous as Dolly Parton!!!
With these beauties of stage and screen to compare myself too, I never really stacked up! I often felt awkward and uncomfortable with my body, my singing voice, my “self” and my um lack of a bust! And then I stumbled over Psalm 139. And over time have come to accept the “me” that God made! It didn’t come easily! I didn’t wake up one morning and suddenly think “I’m gorgeous – strike a pose!” Quite the opposite actually. It took me a while. I would take all my insecurities, stinging comments (like “do you have a baby in your belly” when I wasn’t pregnant) to God and pour out my heart in prayer. There, curled up in a tight little ball in the arms of Jesus, repeating all those hurtful, critical remarks and comparing myself to someone else’s beautiful outsides....God slowly began to reveal to me just how carefully he put me together, how dear I am to Him, how He deliberately wired me for His plan and His purpose! And each time I come back and sit in His presence I am reminded that it only matters that I’m His! He knows me, He sees my very thoughts, He thinks about me more often than I can even comprehend....and He loves me just the way I am! Of course it helps that I married an Electrician, a fella that really sees me...and likes the way I’m wired!
God is with you and rescues you from your troubles. You are not alone in this world, quite the contrary actually. The one who lovingly pieced you together, who knows your very thoughts; has a plan and a purpose for your life! You are not some random collection of cells coming together unexpectedly...you are a delicate framework, put together with great care and consideration, knit together, formed in His image! I love that song that goes... “You made everything Glorious! You made everything Glorious! And I am yours....what does that make me?” He walks with you and calls you His own...How blessed are you to have God as your companion in life! Cling to that thought...God is with you! He will not forsake you!
“even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” Psalm 139:10
Read through Psalm 139
Take a moment to capture your thoughts; the verses that speak to your core and the areas you feel need ACTION
1) What jumps out at you?
2) How are you wired? What specific gifts and abilities has God given you?
3) Psalm 139 speaks volumes of a Father’s love...I love the verses about how His thoughts towards you outnumber the grains of sand. (vs 17-18) Take a moment to tell your LORD and Saviour what it is you love about Him? “How do I love thee...let me count thy ways”
4) SEARCH ME: Read Psalm139:23-24 Ask God to show you where you need a little “tweaking?”
“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
“Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
“as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us”
“A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?”
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”